Exhausted

I am so incredibly tired. Tired of feeling lost and trapped and not knowing what the fuck to do. I feel like a bird, trapped in a cage with steel bars, I don't think I can explain it any better than that.
It's gotten to the point that I fear people, being in big crowds. I'm also beginning to feel claustrophobic, which is a really scary feeling, seeing as I've always considered my home and my own room as a comfort zone where I can relax and breathe, where I can feel safe and secure. Nowadays I despise these four walls that surrounds me and most of the time I want nothing more than to just get outta here.
I am so sick and tired of going through Hell practically every single day and expecting to relive it all again the next day. Anxiety and panic attacks are becoming something daily for me, something that I always have to go through apparently. I wonder if it'll feel normal for me eventually, that it'll feel odd the days when I don't end up hyperventilating and shaking like a leaf?
I'm just so tired of it all.